After a lovely holiday break filled with traditions like exchanging gifts, sharing fond family memories, and binge drinking, Errant Balls makes its triumphant premiere in 2009. And in recognition of the misery and complete lack of motivation that marks the return to normalcy from holiday fun, we come to you in the easiest form possible... one liner jokes that link to pretty pictures. Enjoy you lazy simpletons!
"Do you think the refs will consider an inter-team Conga line a form of choreographed celebration?"
"How can I be expected to concentrate on football when we are destroying mother Earth? When the hell was the last time someone checked the pH in this soil? It is indefensibly dry for this region! We've got to go green people!!!"
"And for winning player of the game honors they gave me this giant novelty helmet! It's funny, because it's bigger than a normal helmet..."
"If we're going to lose anyway the least I can do is entertain the fans with some good, old fashioned break dancing."
"Awww yeah this Naughty By Nature track is my jam! Hip hop hooorayyy, hooooo, heyyyyy, hoooo."
"Daddy, I think we might have mixed up our shirts before we left the hotel this morning..."
"Had I known all I had to do to be included in the game plan was to publicly say how badly I wanted to get the hell outta here I woulda said in week 1!"
"Okay now let's just toss his little ass through the uprights for the extra point."
"John Harbaugh come on dowwwwwn, you're the next contestant on The Price is Right!"
"Damn, between my sweet stubble and this super stylish quadruple XL one-sie I am looking pretty friggin' bad ass."
"Well, on the bright side at least I didn't commit this season's MOST memorable gun crime."
"Son of a bitch. I knew it was only a matter of time before I channeled my inner Jet."
"Well, this is over. Might as well get a head start on the Classifieds now."
"What the hell do you mean I'm no longer eligible for the Heisman?!"
"Yeah that's right, Hootie's back baby. Except now I only come out for Dolphins' playoff games or the Burger King chicken bacon ranch."