Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Deck the halls with Errant Balls

The Christmas season is officially upon us. Snow is falling, children are laughing, and rabid parents are stomping one another at the local malls to get their hands on the latest Rainbow Bright or He-Man dolls, or whatever it is the kids are playing with these days.
Something us regular folk often forget though, is that famous sports figures are people too, and that yes, even they have Christmas wishes. Lucky for you readers, Errant Balls sent out a survey to find out exactly what those wishes were, and got some very interesting responses.

Dick Enberg - sportscaster/Celebrator of all things Favre
1. Brett Favre authentic game jersey
2. Brett Favre coin collection
3. Pair of Brett Favre game used underpants to wear on my head during candlelight tributes to my Brett Favre hair doll.

Bill Belichick - Patriots coach/Bastard
1. New digital camcorder
2. To find the son of a bitch who's been cutting the sleeves off all my hoodies
3. Your mother

Kevin Garnett -
Boston Celtics forward/Intense enough to make you pee your pants
1. A looser jersey apparently
2. The heads of all who oppose him for a trophy room
3. To win a 2nd championship and ride off on a unicorn (Anything is possibbbbbllle!!!!)

Eli Manning -
NY Giants QB/True believer
1. Another Super Bowl ring
2. To finally see my wife's boobies
3. The new Hess Truck (I hear it's back and it's better than ever!)

CC Sabathia -
NY Yankee pitcher/Scrooge McDuck rich
1. A ridiculous contract
2. Hahahahahahahaha
3. N/A

Terrell Owens -
Dallas Cowboys WR/Self proclaimed media villian
1. One year's supply of popcorn
2. Yoga mat for driveway crunches
3. An invite to Tony and Jason's secret club meetings

Plaxico Burress - NY Giants WR/Self mutilator
1. Hand gun permit
2. Self-suture kit
3. A very special car

Dick Vitale - Beloved sportscaster/Raging psychopath
1. Hair plugs
2. A UNC/Duke game EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR BABYYYYY!!! (Coughs, grabs chest, collapses)
3. Defibrillator

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