Inauguration Balls

Yesterday marked one of the most historic days in our great country's short existence, as Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th president of the United States. Obama represents great change not only in that he is the first African American elected to office, but that he preaches change as the solution to getting ourselves back on track as a nation. All this talk of history and change got us thinking, because this year is slated to be quite a historical year in sports as well. So here is a rundown of some of the reasons 2009 will go down in sports history as the year of great change.

- As the New York Yankees move across the street to their new stadium, 2009 will be the first season in 85 years that the Bombers don't call "The House that Ruth built" their home. The inaugural season of the new Yankee Stadium will mark the beginning of a new era in "The House that questionable public funding and the Hard Rock Cafe built."

- The Globalization of the NBA continues, as Portland Trail Blazers rookie Rudy Fernandez becomes the first Spanish player to take part in the Dunk Contest. However, the first timer will lose out to another historic precedent, when Dwight Howard raises the hoop to 12 feet, puts on a Batman cape, and dunks Nate Robinson to take home his second trophy in as many years.

- The Detroit Lions will post an unheralded turnaround when they follow up their 0-16 season with a 16-0 run under the poised leadership of Matt Cassell. While back in New England, Tom Brady will be divorced, 50 lbs. overweight, and forced out of town by year's end.

- Thanks to their new home, Mets fans will finally go into a season with the correct, but altogether devastating expectations, as walking into a stadium named after Citibank will teach the Flushing faithful to accept the impending and unavoidable doom that lay ahead.

-In an effort to clear cap space for the 2010 free agent class and also secure the team a high draft pick, New York Knicks president Donnie Walsh makes an unprecedented move, cutting the post All-Star roster to only one player. The plan will backfire as David Lee's constant hustle and scrappy play leads the Knicks to the playoffs.

- The arrogance of winning a World Series will turn Phillies' fans more vigilant and ruthless than ever before, as they will ritually sacrifice kittens following each 2009 loss... and win.

- Imaginationland will cease to exist as the 2009 Boston Celtics fail to repeat as NBA Champions, causing little Kevin Garnett to stop believing that ANYTHING IS POSSSSIBBBBBBBLE!!!!

- The Arizona Cardinals have already made history by earning their first ever trip to the Super Bowl in 2009, and if they win?... Well let's just say we won't have to worry much about 2010, Scott Boras and the cockroaches will be the only ones left to deal with that hot mess.