The equation is plain and simple: (Slow sports week + lack of time - the desire to think of fresh and original material) x the amount of beers I have consumed thus far this week = The Week in Pictures!
"Good luck this weekend Jerry. Just try not to injure any of your tough as nails players with a strong pregame speech."
"Okay, now just try not to burst out in laughter on your way down to first... dead kittens, dead kittens, dead kittens."
"Look, all I'm saying is that the Mets as an organization have really fallen on some harsh luck this year. Is there ANY chance we did something to anger the Gods?"
"Oooh look at me I'm Ricky Rubio. I was once married to Lucille Ball and when I go to the barber I just ask him for the 'lead singer of Journey' look... HAHAHAHA!"
"I'd like to thank the Orlando Magic coaches and staff, their GM Otis Smith, and of course the almighty God for helping to get me the hell outta Jersey."
"Seriously bro, if you're not completely sold on this whole hockey thing, there's room in our rotation."
"Ohhh well I'm sooo sorry I've offended the big bad superstar. I'm old... they slip out sometimes... get over it!"
"I can't wait to tell that bastard P. Diddy I'll never have to dance around with his umbrella for a paycheck again!"
"This is even more embarrassing than that time I pointed up to God and screamed in praise and that seagull crapped in my eye..."