"I mean sure I'm excited, but compared to this guy in front of me? Frankly my intensity is just piss poor."
"Look if you're going to keep recapping your favorite scenes from The Notebook there's no way I'm making it back into this game."
"Yeah I know you haven't actually subbed me out yet coach. But I'm honestly just not that worried about it."
"Okay so who exactly is the jackass that insisted playing at the Detroit Lions home stadium would somehow be an advantage??"
"Smell my cologne! I rubbed a sample from the new issue of Sports Illustrated on myself before the game... its Pleasures For Men."