Wednesday, November 14, 2007


There is no better time to catch up on an obscene amount of SportsCenter than when you're home sick. Having been, I got to lay in my bed watching hour after hour of coverage while trying to not lose my last meal. Luckily, this gave me the interesting perspective of seeing which prominent stories triggered my gag reflex most.

O.J. Back in court?
What year is it? Every time I turn on the television I see O.J. Simpson sitting in a courtroom with the same beleaguered look he sported way back when he murdered two people.... er, um.... I mean, was accused of murder.....
It was ruled today that O.J., along with two co-defendants, will stand trial in a suspected memorabilia heist that took place earlier this year. The charges he is likely to face include kidnapping and armed robbery, among others.
Much of the testimony in this preliminary hearing was given by O.J.'s two co-defendants, who seem more than happy to roll over on him to reduce their own impending sentences. One of the co-defendants, placing the presence of weapons solely on Simpson, said that O.J. told him "Show them your gun, and try to look menacing," before they entered the hotel room in which the altercation took place.
When is this guy going to wise up? Come on, you're O.J. Simpson man! You killed two people!.... er, um... were accused of killing two people..... Show your gun? Try to look menacing? If O.J. friggin' Simpson comes in my hotel room and insists something in there is his, he's getting it. Next time just ask.

A-Rod back in pinstripes?
In the latest turn in the soap opera that is Alex Rodriguez's free agency, he apparently may be staying right where he is. It was reported this morning that talks between the superstar third baseman and the presumably uninterested NY Yankees have resumed. Although this time, the talks are directly between A-Rod and the Steinbrenners, with his agent/evil brainwashing genius/douchebag-with-power Scott Boras being left out of the discussion.
It appears that Rodriguez may be regretting taking the advice of Boras and opting out of his Yankeee contract. "I don't know what brought about him approaching us," Yankees VP Hank Steinbrenner said, "it could be very well that he's always wanted to stay a Yankee and we just didn't know it."
That's right. As shocking as it is, the ever-changing mind of baseball's most perplexing star has seemingly changed again. Whether it was realizing he had taken too much advice from an agent who had his own interests at the forefront, or realizing his heart was always in New York, or realizing no one would truly accept him after reading the seething article I posted two weeks ago (I don't want to take too much credit but rumor has it he has perused Errant Balls from time to time), something has triggered a change in A-Rod.
Granted, he will likely change his mind ten more times before any deal is reached, but if he winds up back in the Bronx he may have to give one hell of a public explanation to win back the support of the fans. Just a suggestion Alex, you may want to include tarring and feathering Scott Boras in a public square with that apology.

Ricky Williams back in the NFL?
After an 18 month suspension for once again violating the NFL's drug policy, commissioner Roger Goodell officially reinstated Williams today.
Isn't being a Dolphins fan hard enough without this guy jumping in and out of our lives? When the only things to celebrate in Miami are an undefeated season that happened 35 years ago and the best Quarterback ever to win absolutely nothing, this guy has just become a big tease.
And now, on the heels of naming the third starting quarterback of their miserable 0-9 season, we hear Ricky Williams might be back again. Yippee. We might be getting a late season fantasy points addition to a pathetic team that has lost their one bright spot to a season ending injury.
How many chances can one guy get? Oddly enough, this story is the one that kills me the most. Sure, that is likely escalated by the years of immeasurable stomach damage being a Dolphins fan has already caused me, but it still hurts. In fact, it makes me downright nauseous. And it's giving me this weird paranoid feeling too. God, I wish there was some miracle drug that could relax my aching stomach and just help me mellow out.....

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