Wednesday, October 24, 2007


The 3 Biggest Non-Story Stories of the Week
Despite all of the actual sporting events taking place, the World Series for one, this week's headlines have been overwhelmed by the invisible manager, the disappearing all-star, and the non-existent Sunday.

Where to go from Joe?
The New York Yankees season is over. It has been for almost 3 weeks now. Yet somehow, they are still the biggest story in baseball.
With the World Series set to start tonight, every morning's SportsCenter is seemingly more and more Yankee focused. The worldwide web has also been completely bombarded by any breaking Bombers news, dominating the sports sites you spend the majority of your workday perusing (for shame... lazy Americans).
And the biggest news to hit so far? That the Yanks have not yet chosen who will replace departed manager Joe Torre. That's right, this is news. This just in: Yankees' brass in process of making decision. Riveting. I have literally been glued to reading journalistic masterpieces like Monday's "Yanks to interview Girardi today, Mattingly tomorrow, Pena Wednesday." Which was only recently outdone by Wednesday's surefire Pulitzer contender "Yanks interview Pena today, after meeting with Mattingly yesterday, Girardi Monday."
The latest bombshell dropped earlier today, that the Yankees might make a decision by Friday. That is just good old-fashioned investigative reporting at work folks. At least we know we won't be short on Yankee news even after the manager announcement is made. We will still be able to look forward to groundbreaking mid-winter pieces on the fact that not one single Yankee has thus far reported to Spring Training.

I demand you meet my demands!
Once again, Kobe Bryant is insisting that someone do what he says (too soon?). How is it that we still consider Kobe pouting and giving orders to his supposed superiors a shocking revelation worthy of headlines?
Months after demanding the Los Angeles Lakers trade him, we are seeing headlines that literally read "Kobe still demanding trade." Honestly, who cares? Regardless of where Bryant plays this season he will still be a smooth, dominating force on the court... and a solid bet to make sure the team goes nowhere.
Any team that makes a push for Kobe will likely be forced to give up 3 to 4 good, young players. And where will that leave Kobe? In different uniform colors and in the same exact situation. Putting him on another team where he will continue to be the most prolific scorer in the league while being surrounded by mediocrity will assure him another first round playoff exit. And will likely assure fans, coaches and management more complaint-induced headaches.
It seems odd too, that in all these talks of wanting to be traded Kobe has never made mention of where it is he wants to go. However, an inside source from the Lakers tells me that he has, on several occasions, mentioned interest in the Denver Nuggets. Something about Colorado having the best hotels in the country....

What in the hell is Week 8?!
Apparently, the New England Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts are going to be playing one another at some point in the near future. By the looks of the headlines, one might assume it would be this Sunday. One would be wrong.
Already touting this as the battle of the unbeatens, the media has unanimously decided to ignore the existence of week 8 altogether. At week 7's end the Pats and Colts are both undefeated, standing at 7-0 and 6-0 respectively. But they won't be facing off until week 9 in Indy. Doesn't it seem a bit odd to be touting a match up that completely discounts the fact that each team still has a game to play this Sunday? Is it okay to assume they will easily toss aside the Redskins and Panthers as they stroll leisurely into week 9? Probably.
The Patriots have looked simply out of this world, scoring 40 points per game and easily beating each of their 7 opponents (thus far winning by no less than 17). And their brand new receiving corps or Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth and Wes Welker have finally given Tom Brady top tier targets down-field. Brady is leading the league in essentially every major category including QB rating, completions, yards , touchdowns, celebrity girlfriends, and fertility.
On the other hand, the defending Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts haven't looked too bad themselves. Peyton Manning is leading what continues to be one of the league's most creative and productive offenses year in and year out. While on the defensive side of the ball they are in the top 3 in yards given up per game, yards overall, pass defense, and interceptions. This solid Colts secondary could very well be the ones to finally challenge that cleft-chin bastard Brady and his trio of jolly receivers.
You know what... screw it. I'm ignoring week 8 too. Pats-Colts is the real deal! Maybe I'll just use this Sunday to plan my November 4th game-of-the-century party.

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