Wednesday, March 26, 2008

2008 MLB Preview

The 2008 Major League Baseball season is finally here. Here is a preview of what to expect from all 30 of your favorite MLB teams, click the links for some extra goodies.

New York Yankees
In his first year at the helm of the Bronx Bombers front office, expect Hank Steinbrenner to dominate the headlines:
Hank on Red Sox Nation: “What a bunch of sh*t that is.”
Hank on Global Warming: “People bitching about better baseball weather? What a bunch of sh*t that is.”
Hank on Toys-for-Tots Charity Drives: “Handouts are for pussies, earn your keep. What a bunch of sh*t that is.”

Boston Red Sox
Solid pitching and a potent offensive lineup combine for what should be another stellah yea for the sawks. Expect Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz to once again be among the league leaders in RBI’s, and expect Dice-K Matsuzaka to once again lead the league in gay coats.

Baltimore Orioles
The potential of the Orioles could very well rest on their oft-injured stars Jay Gibbons and Brian Roberts. If only there was some kind of substance they could take in order to speed up the healing process…

Toronto Blue Jays
Their solid pitching staff that includes perennial Cy Young candidate Roy Halladay, A.J. Burnett, and B.J. Ryan will assure our Canadian fan counterparts of another team that will hold serve on their reign of dominance as the mediocre middle of the division.

Tampa Bay Rays

By removing the “Devil” part of their team nickname, the Rays are hoping people won’t realize they’re the same team. But keep that on the down low, that’s how they managed to sign Troy Percival.

Chicago White Sox
Harkening back to the shameful days of the “Black Sox” scandal, the White Sox players will begin throwing games in order to lose. This time, however, it will not be motivated by money, but by Ozzie Guillen’s promise that he will run naked up Michigan Avenue if the White Sox win the World Series.

Cleveland Indians
In the event that they may need the extra advantage for a late season playoff push, the Indians began cultivating their midge crop a month earlier this year.

Detroit Tigers
The Tigers are looking quite dangerous with the off-season addition of the super-talented youngster Miguel Cabrera, although it did shake up the team a bit when the addition forced them to move Brandon Inge from third base to designated 10 year-old.

Kansas City Royals
The return of their throwback powder blue Uni’s for a few games this year should be fun for the fans. This emasculating apparel almost guarantees some overcompensating outbursts of George Brett proportions.

Minnesota Twins
After saying goodbye to Johan Santana and Torii Hunter this offseason, the Twins front office is confident they will be able to pay for their new stadium by bottling the misery filled tears of the Minnesota faithful and selling it as an industrial solvent.

Seattle Mariners
Adding former Orioles Ace Erik Bedard should give the M’s a nice 1-2 punch in their starting rotation, provided that their ever-growing phenom “King Felix” Hernandez doesn’t continue to rule the buffet with an iron fist.

Los Angeles Angels
Angels coaches are hoping the addition of the consistent bat of Torii Hunter will have a positive effect on the indiscriminant bat of Vlad Guerrero. With Hunter in front of him Guerrero should no longer feel the need to swing at everything including pitches in the dirt and passing birds.

Texas Rangers
In order to reduce the possibility of on-field incidents and curb government spending, Texas governor Rick Perry has granted Milton Bradley the job of personally executing death row inmates using the methods of his choosing; whether he will use buckets of baseballs, blind rage, or otherwise remains to be seen.

Oakland Athletics

The loss of Nick Swisher this off-season could prove detrimental. In watching him go the A’s lost a solid bat, a ton of hustle in the outfield, and one hell of a gorgeous head of hair.

New York Mets

Now with Johan Santana anchoring their rotation, the Mets are confident they will be showering Willie Randolph in champagne this season… rather than being forced once again to douse him in scalding hot water after a massive collapse.

Washington Nationals
When eventually asked why the Nationals are so terrible Paul Lo Duca will continue to use the “Come on bro” defense he used after the Mitchell Report.

Philadelphia Phillies
The American media will prove to be retarded after a widely exposed prank changes Brett Myers image from wife beater to clubhouse funny man. Oh wait… that already happened…. And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m freeeee…

Florida Marlins
On the downside the Marlins have once again managed to trade away their best talent. But on the upside they did secure quite a bit of young potential in return… which they will likely trade in a few years once it becomes legitimate talent.

Atlanta Braves
If you add their ages together, pitchers John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, and manager Bobby Cox are older than the game of baseball itself. There’s no joke here. The Braves have a lot of old guys.

Milwaukee Brewers
The Brewers’ players have shown up full of promise and team spirit this spring; newly acquired Eric Gagne is sporting beer goggles and Prince Fielder is still boasting his trademark beer gut. Go Brew Crew!

Chicago Cubs
After going 100 years without winning a World Series you’d think the new owners of the Cubbies would be concerned with pleasing the fans, but almost immediately after buying they announced a willingness to sell the naming rights to the beloved Wrigley Field. Why not go the full nine yards and just name it after your new Japanese import Kosuke Fukudome? Because wouldn’t it be a fitting gesture of what you’re saying to the fans if you just went ahead and called it the Fuk-u-dome?

Cincinnati Reds
With a revamped pitching staff and loads of young talent, the Reds should succeed if they can stay healthy. Then again, if Ken Griffey stays healthy for an entire season don’t we all have the apocalypse to worry about? It’s in the book of revelations, look it up.

Houston Astros
The Astros expectations for newly acquired closer Jose Valverde are extremely high. After leading the NL in saves in ’07, the ‘Stros are hopeful Valverde can give them a few good years before his psyche is inevitably shattered by a crushing Albert Pujols post-season bomb.

Pittsburgh Pirates
Some of the lofty goals of the ’08 Pirates include ending their 15 consecutive losing seasons streak, improving game attendance to WNBA-like numbers, and convincing fans they are in fact in the National League, not the Grapefruit League.

St. Louis Cardinals
Will manager Tony LaRussa continue his trend of seemingly endless and irrational pitching changes in ’08? Well, ask yourself what you think of LaRussa’s decision making process overall… and there’s your answer.

Los Angeles Dodgers
Dodger fans, how excited are you really about the acquisition of Andruw Jones? 2 years, $36.2 mil… .222 batting average in 2007……… I’ll take your eerie silence as denial.

San Diego Padres
After falling just a few good innings short of the postseason in ’07, the Pads are hoping new addition Mark Prior can give them those few solid innings before his arm predictably falls off and disappears in a cloud of dust.

San Francisco Giants
Can talented pitching compensate for the loss of offensive production on the post-Barry Giants? With their lineup anchored by Randy Winn… unlikely. That is unless those talented pitchers start doing a little shopping at a certain quaint little Bay Area Laboratory I’ve heard so much about.

Colorado Rockies
Matt Holliday looks poised to keep his stalwart offensive numbers from ’07 on the rise, and looks poised to keep his skin delightfully moisturized by sleeping in the giant Coors Field baseball humidor.

Arizona Diamondbacks
Outfielder Eric Byrnes is super-stoked about the potential of the ’08 Diamondbacks. Then again, Eric Byrnes is also super-stoked about Tuesdays, nachos, pennies, and the possibility of one day colonizing the moon.

22 comments:

health and fitness said...

http://www.healthbeautyfacts.com/illumina-sd-cream/

Jhonwilssion said...

Clemix Male Enhancement to maximize the potentials of the ingredients and at the thesame become old tolerate every the give support to from the effort in the gym and the diet? The first important concern is to know the role that all nutrient has in the human body, in order to understand the main mechanisms that tweak spirit production and the processes leading to weight loss as with ease as muscle growth.In this chemical analysis we will concurrence following carbohydrates, which together later than fats and proteins are the nutrients we acquire from the food and, if necessary, dietary supplements: from these substances the body can appeal life and the foods that contain them are called energetic, as opposed to those without calorific power, such as water and salts.
How to use protein supplements: hypertrophy, diet and exercise
Hypertrophy is the phenomenon joined next the accumulation in the enlargement of our muscles and to reach this result, the power and the workout must be appropriately studied and calibrated upon each subject. The basic principle, however, is valid for everyone, without distinction: if we want to mass the muscles and accumulation weight (as a lean deposit at the expense of the obesity) we must say yes more calories than the consumed ones.
Get Quality Review here at https://ibispda.com/review/clemix-male-enhancement/

frieskerry said...

The use of supplements is the isolated form of drug therapy exists for floaters. To date, no cases of enhancement attributed by credited medicine, qualified the recruitment of products specific; however, there is a college of thought that the use of these products may encourage to prevent any deterioration.
suplement agency

SCR888 Cafe said...

I'm really enjoying the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems? A handful of my blog audience has complained about my site not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?

918kiss

stevan smith said...

Thanks for taking the time to discuss that, I really feel strongly about it and love learning more on that topic. If achievable, as you gain competence, would you mind updating your blog with more information? It is highly helpful for me. Scr888 Download

HAIDER ALI said...

these days, time is a rarity. this https:/scr888agentid is humorous considering we most effective have a certain quantity of it in our lives. as soon as we 'spend' time, we can't get it again. Time is the world's maximum priceless resource for an unmarried individual.

for example, whilst a person https://scr888easywindownsolutions your cellphone name, they're supplying you with their time to hear you. whilst a person invitations you to a night meal, it approaches he or she is making manner for you and putting other arrangements on the backburner. In essence, if someone chooses to present you their time, that individual's giving you a small part of their lifestyles on this https:/scr888918kiss international. Does that sound like a reasonable assertion to make? If that hasn't convinced you, perhaps this will. right here are a few things to mull over...

To realise the price of 12 months, https:/scr888918kiss1 ask a scholar who failed their diploma. To recognize the price of one month, ask a mom who gave birth to an untimely toddler. To realize the price of 1 week, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To understand the fee https:/scr888login of sooner or later, ask a terminally sick affected person. To recognize the price of 1 hour, ask the bride and groom who are approximate to be married. To realize the cost of one minute, https:/scr888login1ask the individual that missed the teach. To recognize the fee of 1 2d, ask the person that averted an automobile accident. To comprehend the price of 1 millisecond, ask the person who gained the London marathon.



HAIDER ALI said...

scr888reward
scr888bankislam

Live Casino Hotel said...

Thanks for taking the time to discuss that, I really feel strongly about it and love learning more on that topic. If achievable, as you gain competence, would you mind updating your blog with more information? It is highly helpful for me. scr888 malaysia

918Kiss said...

What can I say except that Mortal Kombat will forever have a special spot in my heart. I have always really enjoyed fighting video games and 918kiss free register Mortal Kombat has been in existence for a Long time (this is the ninth release!). It's difficult to imagine that I used to play Mortal Kombat 2 on my GameBoy and today I am gearing up to play it with 3d graphics!

Kamora Burton said...

This title you’ll also be available as well as 11 Thursday Night football games. Kids will enjoy this collection of that elusive mega888 Free Download world title and as a gamer. The hero he was cremated through God's memory of him he will be back. The Gemz came storming back and leg pains which are called Mmos or. Instead Verizon will purchase of products or services featured in this article they are. Jeez I attribute much of consolidating diverse bits of dress up games will show.

Kamora Burton said...

Onealso needs to spend this much like Paladins gigantic offers a team-based shooter. Like other Rpgs with his boot hence drop mega888 Malaysia goal that passes between. Like I said earlier a gymnasium. Today although injuries all season but remains the top of an illusion of a game like Spore. We carefully selected the best games like Spore available don't hesitate to share. We carefully selected the best games of 2013 and lost the starting job.

Garry L. Shouse said...

The sounds are fantastic. It's like having an arcade in the palm of your hands. "Is that an arcade in your pocket 918kiss game online or are you just happy to see me?" Mario has a voice in this game and repeats a few Italian-soaked clichés. Thankfully he avoids saying, "That's a spicy meat-a-ball-a."

mafiannir said...

Even though the game scr888 malaysia has fifteen missions, the drawback of this game is the length. Ace Combat 6 can easily be completed in approximately eight hours.

Anonymous said...

ou made some good quality points there. I did a search on the topic scr888 casino online malaysia and found many people will agree with your blog.
There is a lot of info on this blog: very helpful

Morgin kate said...

You made some good quality points there. I did a search on the topic keto max shred and found many people will agree with your blog.
There is a lot of info on this blog: very helpful

SCR888 Online said...

If you could message me with any hints & tips on how you made your blog look this rapid slim diet pills cool, I would be appreciative! Great blog you have here - market is very slow - Hopefully, things will begin picking back up

Anonymous said...

I really like the fresh perspective you did on the issue. I will be back soon scr888 casino download apk 2019 to check up on new posts! Thank you!

flag said...

Thanks for the post. Im a big fan 918kiss apk download ios of the blog, i've even put a little bookmark right on the tool bar of my Firefox you'll be happy to find out!

SCR888 Online said...

This is a really good read for me, Must admit 918kiss online malaysia that you are one of the best bloggers I ever saw. Thanks for posting this informative article.

flag said...

I would like to add number 7: Have winter live casino
windshield washer fluid in your car because year fluid tends to freeze.

918kiss malaysia said...

I am really very agree with your qualities it is live casino malaysia promotion very helpful for look like home. Thanks so much for info and keep it up.

AirMaster NZ said...

Subsequently, after spending many hours on the internet at last We\'ve uncovered an home ventilation systems nz cost individual that definitely does know what they are discussing many thanks a great deal wonderful post.