The week in pictures

It's been a busy week in sports at home and abroad. And since most of you are lazy and largely illiterate, I'm bringing the news to you in the only way you can absorb it... pictures!

- "Yes another world record is great, but I am chafing like you would not friggin' believe!!"

- "You can't tell, but I'm not even wearing any pants. That's how I roll now. Why? Because I'm Michael Phelps damn it!"

- "Yeah, Rex Grossman is so bad the Bears assumed I'd be a better option at quarterback. It's time to party bitches!"

- "HAHAHA yeah bro, I was worried the Germans might beat us too! You're crazy man. I love you, but you're crazy."

- "What is the deal with all of this 'read the playbook' nonsense? My brain is feeling a bit fatigued."

- "You can take my gold medal record sir... but you can never take my dignity."

- "You may be blowing us out, but let's see how you stand up to my ultra-physical defense... Booby slap!"

- "Some of us are troubled by injury, some of us are troubled by the general statutes of societal law. Whatever, I'm back on the team!"

- "AMERICA! F*CK YEAAAH!"

- "It is ridiculous to assume this is racist. I'll have you know we were suffering from a case of conjunctivitis that spread through the team like wildfire!"

- "What do you mean the commissioner didn't approve of me 'making it rain' reinstatement letters all over his desk?!"

- "Sure I cost the US the gold in the overall competition, but at least I can take solace in the fact that I am still smokin' frigging hot."

- "How in the hell did they come up with ironic 'Gay' headlines so quickly?!"

- "Okay, okay. So I'm not really old enough to be competing in the Olympics. But the only reason we did it is because the girl who was of age was far too hideously ugly to represent our nation on television."

- "That's right, it's time to take the Shawn Kemp child-siring program global baby!"